My Own Diversion

Uncle Tony and Damon inspecting the honey trays, minus the bees

Saturday August 23 was my family reunion. I’m not really big on family gatherings. Me being the baby of the bunch leaves me open for all the snide remarks and future life suggestions I can handle. But I digress.

We always get together at my Uncle Tony’s place in Jackson, NJ. He’s got a couple of acres of the most beautiful land you’ll ever see. With many fun things to do the day is always an adventure. He grows shataki mushrooms on wet logs, has a hand full of chickens running around, fire pits, and an outhouse. He even gives tractor rides through his property, around the wet lands that surround it, and back again. As if that’s not enough, he’ll let you pick rocks out of the rock garden to take home. Rocks that he dug in some odd mountain or creek around the U.S.  

However, this post isn’t about any of those things. So, apparently I’m still digressing.

I wanted to tell you about his new endeavour. Bees. The show was quite interesting. He gathered us around while he lit a smoker to make sure the bees were calm when he cracked the cabinet. All the while giving us a great lecture on honey bees and their nature. When he cracked that cabinet, though, their were no bees to speak of.

Turns out The Queen had died. The neighbor’s son saw all of the bees leave a few days earlier and actually mentioned it. I guess no one was paying him any mind.

A last little tid bit of information for those of you who are interested in growing a hive colony: If The Queen dies, the workers leave. End of story. Remedy? Apparently you can buy a new Queen ”on-line” if your old one passes on. Boy oh boy, you can get anything on the Internet these day!

Thursday August 21 was date night. Me and my lovely boyfriend had dinner at Olive Garden than went to see a movie. He usually lets me pick the movie because he’s the best!

We decided on the 8:10 showing of Pineapple Express. I was excited about seeing this movie, everyone that saw it said it was funny. I don’t want to give anything away about the plot, so I’ll keep this vague.

 It was funny! A real laugh riot. However, by the end of it your ready to run to the exit. It’s entirely too long. Running at 2 hours and 20 min, I’d say about 45 min too long. Don’t get me wrong, it WAS funny from start to finish, but by the end you’re so tired of sitting there you don’t really care how funny it is anymore.

Maybe I just have the attention span of a gnat. Don’t let the length stop you from going to see it. Although, if you do have a problem sitting for long periods of time like I do just wait for the DVD. All around it’s just worth seeing. 

Enjoy.

The end of Rolling Stone

I was visiting family yesterday and in my travels on someones kitchen table was a copy of this months Rolling Stone magazine. Nothing out of the ordinary there, this magazine has been rock’s bible since the very beginning. What did throw me off was who was on the cover.

The Jonas Brothers? Come on people! Disney has all the sudden become the spokesperson of rock for this generation? I won’t have it.

In a world where we lose our values and morals everyday over politics and gas prices and jobs we take no pride in, the one constant thing that makes life worth it is our music. This band has no business being on the cover of the world’s greatest rock magazine.

Rolling Stone is not a children’s book. Unless some new marketing scheme is afoot to get more readers and more money. In that case, screw them and everything they stand for.

Never in my life have I been ashamed to call myself a fan of rock and roll, until now. Is it gone forever? The guitar riffs of Jimmy Hendricks, the wail of Janis Joplin, the people who stayed alive through the ages, The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, David Bowie, Roger Waters. Was it all in vain? Gods, I hope not.

I’m thinking of writing some really nasty hate mail to Rolling Stone. But, in the end I probably won’t. I’ll just turn my back. No more of my money is going to fund this kind of propaganda. Maybe I can get enough people to agree, then they’d be in a world of trouble. Well, except for their newly acquired kiddy fan base. So be it. I’ll have no part in this disgusting change.

I have renamed this month’s issue to “The 9/11 of Rock and Roll”. It’s gone, dead, forgotten, and thrown away. At least it will be if things like this persist. What can I do? I’m only one person. Not to mention that the politics involved in this are way out of my league. So, I’ll sit back and watch the fire consume all that we hold dear in our music.

“It’s just a shame you missed out on rock and roll, it’s over. It’s over. You got here just in time for the death rattle. The last gasp, last grope.” –Lester Bangs in Almost Famous

On Wednesday, August 13th I was delivering pizza as per usual and the most amazing thing happened to me.

First, let me say that I am VERY thorough. Not just with my jobs but with everything. Secondly, it has been hot, it’s summer and I like to drive with the windows down.

So, I just leaving my destination having dropped off the asortment of italian goodies. Paying close attention to my surroundings, I turned down the nearest side street to make my way back to the pizza place. On the right side of the street was what I’m assuming was husband and wife carrying some household items and their beautiful beast of a dog. I know it was chocolate lab but it had to have been mixed with something because the thing was ENORMOUS!!!

Anyway, as I was moving along down the road, the dog was moving closer and closer to the middle of it. That made me a little nervous so I started to slow down considerably. Well, he kept right on coming so I came to a complete stop to let him pass, if that’s what he wanted to do.

It seems that’s exactly what he wanted to do. However, before he made it all the way across the street he came trotting over to my driver side and rested his bear size paws on the ledge between the outside and the inside of the door. I leaned back a bit because of course I was surprised and a little afraid.

I realized immediately that there was no need for my fear. This beautiful, brazen animal looked into my eyes, leaned into the window, and licked the entire left side of my face. Wow,I thought, who does that happen to? He smiled at me, jumped down and went on his way.

The couple watched this scene with amusement and followed him to the yard where I guess he had to pee. The man smiled at me and waved as I recovered from the shock of it all and started to step on the gas.

Tips were kind of crappy that evening and everyone was in a bad mood for whatever reason. One of those days maybe, you know how it is. Even my day wasn’t all that great. It’s funny how one small, special event like that can change your outlook. Not just of the day but of life in general.

You can tell it had an impact on me, not only because I felt the need to share it with you. But because it happened 4 days ago and is still so fresh in my mind, still bringing a smile to my face. To be honest, it probably always will.

The Gods only know why that dog did what he did. I do however wish for one thing: that he could understand me. I would tell him that he changed me and I will never forget him for it.